It's so nice to be back posting again, I have been taking a little break because to be very honest I needed to hit refresh. I keep comparing myself to everyone else - yes I know I shouldn't - and when I don't match up I just get so cross at myself.
I know I have brought this up many times before on my blog but it really does affect me mentally! I want this to be something I enjoy but also at the same time something that could maybe someday showcase other talents and interests that I have outside of my 9-5 job!
At some point I have to realise though that I am not that interesting cliched blogger that's all over the blogosphere right now!
Here's some of the reasons why:
- I don't see a marble table and think "FLATLAY"!
- I don't have to do lists coming out of my ears that I tick off with gorgeous handwriting!
- I don't sit in coffee shops with my Mac and type away - mainly because I go to work 5 days a week!
- I don't have a stockpile of perfectly shot photos for my instragram.
- I don't go to fancy events and live a 'perfect' life.
- I don't receive freebies just for being me!
- I don't go to fancy restaurants and order food that looks good - I'm all about the taste!
- I don't dress in anyway that anybody would care about!
- I don't buy into trends or need 'key pieces' in my wardrobe!
- I don't splash all my earnings on high end make-up - because I have other things I want.
- I don't decorate my room so it will look good in photos.
- I don't have 100's of posts written in advance ready to go!
- I don't have a cool boyfriend.
- I don't have someone to take trendy shots of me - not that that's me anyway!
- I don't get to see daylight much in the winter.
- I don't have Saturday's where I'm not visiting my 80 year old great auntie!
- I don't do anything that wouldn't bore the tits of you all!
Waow, that became a lot more rant like than I had anticipated. Before anybody thinks that all that above is aimed at any one in-particular, it's not! It's what's swirling about my brain right now!
I'm not saying that anybody who has all of those things going on annoys me, cause they don't. In fact, I admire those people. All I am saying is... that's not me! It's about time I realised that! I'm not that girl.
Here's what I really am:
- I am the girl with the room that constantly looks like a bomb has hit it.
- I am the girl who wants to use a product without taking a picture - I still wanna tell you about it though!
- I am the girl who has blue carpet in her bedroom which makes all photos look hideous.
- I am the girl who spends more time with her dog and parents than any other living thing.
- I am the girl who just spend a fortune on a car because that makes me so happy.
- I am the girl who will snap an 'imperfect' picture just because it makes me smile!
- I am the girl who wants to talk about her dogs 24/7.
- I am the girl who dresses in leggings and trainers at the weekend - no style here!
- I am the girl who does her make-up the same way everyday!
- I am the girl who has been single for 3 years and doesn't give a shit!
- I am the girl who looks a state and not photo worthy 99.9% of the time.
- I am the girl who isn't into fashion shots and just wants to keep things totally real!
- I am the girl who isn't into rose gold, marble or any of the other blogger type things.
- I am the girl who is just goofy, boring and to be honest so freaking weird it hurts sometimes!
You know what? There was something so therapeutic about writing all of that out. It's good for me to see in black and white in front of me what I really am and what I'm really not!
I don't want to be anything other than me and to be honest I love me! It has taken me a long, long time to be me and I'm finally down with this odd blonde thing who adores her dog!
Not posting in sometime has shown me that I should just get on with being me and the people who love me will still be there at the end of it. They will never go away just because I want to strip back to basics and be the weird little girl I am inside.
I finally feel ready to get back into my blog and carve it out to be my goofy little space!
I hope I haven't offended anybody! I just wanted to get everything that my brain can't handle anymore out into the world! You are all like my free therapists - whether you like it or not it seems.
How did you find your blogging self?
Did it take a while?
What are your thoughts on this strange little post?
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